I Lied to Her
by Fuma
Summary: Shinji losses the one thing in the world he would die to protect. A very tragic Shinji/Hikari fic.
1. Default Chapter

Shinji slowly opened his eyes and looked around the hospital room

Shinji slowly opened his eyes and looked around the hospital room. Misato was asleep in chair next to his bed. As he turned back to his view of the ceiling, images of the night before begin to surface, the car, the accident and Hikari lying on the ground motion less as he tried to reach her before he blacked out.Once Shinji remembered why he was there he quickly got out of bed and started to make his way to the door, but he got no more then a few steppes before the pain in from his ribs became to much and he dropped to his knees.The noise brought Misato around from her light sleep and she quickly went to Shinji's side.

"What are you doing? You have to get back to bed." Misato said while placing her hands on his shoulders.

"No I have to see Hikari I have be sure she is ok." He said trying once again to get to his feet.

Misato slowly helped the young man to his feet. "Shinji there is some thing you need to know…"

"Not now I have to see her." He cut her off.

"Shinji she…." Misato turned her gaze to the floor as the tears began to come. "Shinji she didn't make it." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"No… it's a mistake you herd wrong." He said fighting back tears.

"I am sorry Shinji." She said looking in to his eyes.

He drooped back down to his knees as the tears began to flow freely. "I lied to her!" He began to chant as he punched the floor. Every time he said that phrase it became louder and time he struck the ground it became harder, until there was a faint crake herd in the room. Shinji looked down at his hand every knuckle was bleeding and he could not move his pinky finger, but he felt no pain from his hand and he felt no pain from his side. The only pain he felt was the pain of his heart dieing.

He looked up at Misato and mouthed to her, "I lied to her." Before he fell face first unconscious. 

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Shinji leaned on the gourd railing of the plateau over looking Tokyo-3. His mind a was a battle field of conflicting emotions on whether or not leave EVA and every thing came with it behind. Then a voice came from behind him.

"Ikari?" A famine voice said

He slowly turned his head to see the source of the voice it was the Class rep.

Shinji turned back to face the city as he said, "I am sorry I forgot your name."

"Hikari Horaki." She said with a small smile as made her and stood beside him. "You know its funny I was just thinking about you."

"Really… why you would be thinking about me?" He said in a monotone voice. His gaze never leaving the city

Hikari was a little taken back by his comment so she just looked at him for a moment before she answered, "Well you're a classmate and I herd from Kenskue and Touji about what happened after you fought the angel so I guess I was a little worried about you."

"I don't deserve to have someone worry about me, I am weak and a coward. Look at me I'm up her because I can't even decide whether or not I should run away." He backed away from the fence and sat down on the small bench. "It would better if I would just die." There wasn't the slightest hint of anger of sadness in his voice it was just empty.

Hikari looked down at her hands they were trembling, "His words." she thought "They sound just like what Kinoko said before…" She quickly crossed the distance between her and Shinji and before she fully realized what she was doing she gave him a resounding slap across the face."Don't ever say that! No one deserves to die!" Her hands were still shaking at her sides as she looked down him.

Shinji looked up into Hikari's he could tell she was on the verge of crying. "I don't know what to say." He said as he gently fingered the spot were he had been hit.

But before he could think of any thing to say three men in black suits came up behind Shinji and said, "Shinji Ikari your coming with use."

Shinji did not protest he simply got up and started to follow them the waiting car. He took one last look at Hikari her eyes were still ready to unleash a torrent of tears, but her face had changed it now had a look of worry along with sorrow.Then every thing went black and he could see was her face and how it contorted in pain as the skin was stating to get worn away as if rubbed with sand paper as the skin started to fall and the blood started to flow he awoke with a scream.

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Shinji screamed as he shot up in the hospital bed, beads of sweat running down his face.As he tries to bring a hand up to whip his face he realizes there tied to the bed. This was the last straw.

"LET ME FUCKING GO…UNTIE ME YOU BASTERDS!!" Shinji yelled at the top of his lungs as thrashed against the restraints.

Misato had just stepped out of the elevator when she heard Shinji start to yell. She ran to his room and pushed the nurses out of the way to get to him. When she made it in side she saw him trying to rip out the restraints with all the force he could muster. She made her way to his bed and put her hands on his shoulders and forcefully pushed him down to the bed. She looked down in to his eye and there was no anger in them just despair.

"Can I leave Misato… please tell me I can leave." He said on the verge of tears.

Misato looked over to the doctor that had just entered the room. "Yes he is as well enough, but I am going to prescribe some pain killers for his ribs and his hand." He said before he told one of the nurses to undo the restraints.

"Why is he tied up?" Misato asked

"He was trashing around in his sleep, we did not want him to aggravate his injuries." The nurse said as he finished her task.

The doctor and the nurses left as Misato helped Shinji out of his bed. Then she left so he could get dressed. After he was finished Shinji slowly mad his way to the door but before he got there he found something in his pocket. He leaned his back to the wall and slid down it bringing his knees to his chest. Shinji looked at the small picture of Hikari smiling and he began to sob. Misato made her way in to the room and saw that Shinji was crying but she did not bother to ask what was wrong she just helped him to his feet an took him home.

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Disclaimer—I do not own any rights to Evangelion.

Big thanks to asukalangleyu02 for pre-reading

Comments are always welcome dragon_of_earth_fuma@yahoo.com


	2. Chapter 2

It was a beautiful day

It was a beautiful day. It was not to hot, there was a crystal clear blue sky with a few puffy white clouds slowly making there way across it. It was the kind of day Shinji Ikari loved but now would loath for the rest of his existence.

The sun shown brightly on the small gathering of family and friend around the grave of his beloved Hikari, but Shinji was not with them. He watched the funeral from afar. "How can I show my face around them after my failure." He thought to him self as he scanned the crowd. His eyes fell on the young face of Nobuko Hikari's younger sister. She was holding to her older sister arm. Moemi, Hikari's older sister just looked strait ahead with an emotion less gaze.

Shinji remembered the first time he met the two. Hikari had invited him over for dinner. It was pleasant evening. Nobuko took Shinji quickly asking him dozens question of no real importance. Later that evening Nobuko had persuaded Shinji in to playing a board game while Hikari and Moemi cleaned up.

"Well what do you think of him?" Hikari asked with a smile

"Hmmmm…He is to quiet I don't trust him. Its always the quiet ones you know." Moemi answered.

"Moemi!" Hikari said with a frown, "Shinji is nothing like that he would never do anything to hurt me."

"If you say so but I am going to keep my on him." She said in a skeptical tone.

Just then Shinji walked in to the kitchen and asked, "Were done out her what would you guys like to do?" 

Before he got an answer Moemi motioned for Shinji to come near her. When he got with in a foot of her, Moemi looked at him with narrowed eyes and stuck her finger in to his chest and said, "Now listen I am only going to say this once, if you ever do any thing to hurt my sister they will never find you body. Got it?"

Shinji was stunned and he could was nod. "Good." Moemi said as he put arm around Shinji's shoulder and led him out of the kitchen in to the living room.

After that night Shinji spent a lot of his time at Hikari's Even though most of the time he was there he ended up being persuaded by Nobuko to play a game of some sort, but he never minded he actually enjoyed it. Some times he would end up spending more time playing with Nobuko then with Hikari when he was at there residence. After a while he grew a little protective of the girl 

Shinji was brought back to the present as he took another look at Nobuko's face. It once and a look hope in it, now it was just sorrow and heart ach. He looked away she began to cry. 

As the funeral ended Shinji pulled a small orange container out of his pocket and took one of the painkillers in side. Shinji picked up the small white rose he had brought and made his way to the grave. He knelt down by the head stone and dropped the rose to the coffin. He whispered, "I Love you." Before he kissed the head stone and backed up so the workmen could fill in the grave.

He stood there for hours after the grave was filled in. Just as he was about to leave he heard footsteps approaching him. Shinji turned around to see Moemi and Nobuko, before he could speak Nobuko ran to him and put her arms around his waist in a clumsy embrace, she was soon followed by Moemi. The three stayed in that embrace for a moment or two comforting each other if only a little. Moemi stepped back for Shinji while Nobuko stayed by his side holding his hand.

"I think Hikari would want you to have this Shinji." Moemi said in as she pulled some thing from her pocket.

Shinji looked down at the small gold locket that Moemi had handed to him and with a sad smile said, "Thank you…Well its getting late I will walk you home."

===

Shinji looked on nervously as Hikari opened the poorly wrapped birthday present. When she saw the small gold locket she quickly gave Shinji a warm embrace.

"So you like it?" He asked sheepishly

"I love it sill…" Her body began to spasm in his arms as a hundreds of gashes appeared all over her body and blood spilled to the floor.

Shinji shoot up in his bed his shirt plastered to his body from sweat. Shinji stood up and as he exited his room he kicked the small waist basket in frustration because he knew he would not be getting any sleep tonight.

"You ok Shinji?" Misato asked looking down the hall

"I am ok." He said as he made his way to the kitchen and sat down at the table across from Misato.

"Another nightmare?"She asked with a worried expression.

"Yep" He answered with sigh. "What time is it?"

"Eleven-o-clock." She answered before taking a sip of beer.

Shinji let out a small whimper before his head hit the table, "Just shoot me now Misato, just shoot me now."

"Shinji go try and get some sleep we have to leave early tomorrow to pick up the second child."

"What why do I have to go?" He said in whiney tone of voice.

"Because you have not left the apartment since the funeral and…" She quickly shut her mouth after she mentioned the funeral and she knew that was the last thing she would say to him tonight.

Shinji said nothing he just got up from the table and walked out to the balcony were he would stay for the rest of the night.

===

"How is he?" Ritsuko asked over the phone to her long time friend.

"He has hardly slept since the funeral he keeps having nightmares." Misato said with a concerned tone. 

"Maybe you should try some sleeping pills." Ritsuko said

"I don't know he is still young, but he can't keep this up I will think about it." Misato said with a concerned tone.

"What about the second child? Do you want us to get her a room in the geo-front?" The Dr asked.

Misato thought about it for second before she answered, "No. It might be good for him to have some one else to talk to. Maybe she can get him off the damned balcony."

"What's he doing out there?" Ritsuko asked

"He just sits out there and stares at Hikari's apartment building day and night. He only comes in side to eat and use the bathroom." Misato took a quick glance at the wall clock and she suddenly realized that they were going to be late for their rendezvous. "Damn I have to go Ritsuko, bye." She hung up before the Dr could answer.

===

Shinji unconsciously clutched the small locket that hung from a gold chain around his neck as he fallowed Misato on the massive deck of the aircraft carrier. After a few moments Shinji noticed a red head in yellow sundress standing in the path. 

"Shinji this is the second child Asuka Langley Sohryu." Misato said motioning to the red head in front of them. "Asuka this is Shinji Ikari the third child."

"Not much to look at is he." Asuka said moving with in inches of Shinji's face.

Shinji said nothing in response he just glared at the redhead for a second before he turned and walked off.

Asuka looked up Misato with an annoyed expression, "What's his problem?"

"He has not had the best month Asuka, just go easy on him ok. Come on lets go talk to the captin." Misato then turned and headed to the bridge. Asuka gave one last look at the fading form of the younger Ikari before she fallowed Misato.

Shinji stood looking at the small picture of him and Hikari that was in the locket. He then herd foot steps approaching, he turned his head to see the Asuka standing by him, "Come third child I want you to see some thing." She said with smug expression.

"No that's ok you go ahead." Shinji replied as he scowled at the young woman.

Before she could respond there was a massive explosion as one the ships split in two and sank. As the two pilots looked at the fleet the saw a massive whit shape break the surface and crash into another ship causing it to spilt in two and sink.

" An Angel we have to tell Misato." Shinji yelled

"You go tell her I will go get help." She exclaimed with a fiendish grin.

A few second later Shinji was in the bridge, "What are we going to do?" Shinji asked. Before the woman could answer a rumbling was herd form under the tarp on deck a second later the tarp was in the air and there stood the massive red titan known as Evangelion unit-02. As soon as the EVA appeared the massive angel launched out of the sea and strait at it. Asuka barely had enough time puller progressive knife before the angel touched down one the deck. The EVA struggled with the beast for what seamed like an eternity before the angel mad a mistake. It open its jaws trying to take a bit out of unit-02 and Asuka noticed it core and drove the knife deep inside shattering it, the beast lay limp on the deck before unit-02 pushed it over bored.

===

Back at port Shinji sat in the back of a jeep waiting for Misato to drive home.

"Well what did you think? Pretty impressive huh."Asuka said leaning in to the jeep. She looked the young Ikari up and down before her eyes fell upon the small gold locket around his neck. "Hey isn't that a girls locket?" She asked as she reached for the pendant.

Shinji slapped her hand away as he growled, "Don't you ever touch that."

Misato intervened before there was a fight. "Hey you two cut it out. I don't want you fighting all the way home." With that she started up the jeep and headed for Tokyo-3. 

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Disclaimer—I do not own any rights the Evangelion

Comments are always welcome, [dragon_of_earth_fuma@yaho.com][1]

Much thanks to my pre-readers, asukalangleyu02 and NanuNanu14

   [1]: mailto:dragon_of_earth_fuma@yaho.com



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